10:42 A perfect bunt on the first pitch Mathis sees, as the Angels switch to small ball, which of course is their traditional strength.

10:44 Aybar grounds out and Youk and Lowell put it away this time. 2 down.

10:45 This is Lester’s last time through the lineup, right? …Right?

10:46 Ellsbury makes SportsCenter recording out #3. On we go. But no more bananas.  Cause now we’re sleepy.

10:13 If Youk hadn’t gotten that call, he’d have been ready to cut a bitch.  Great bunt by Figgins, though.

10:16 Dammit, we missed something while eating bananas foster.  Oh wait, NO WE DIDN’T.

10:17 Bobby Abreu has been three of Lester’s four walks.  Clearly, he is the Carribean (?) God of Walks.

10:19 Clearly, Torii Hunter wanted his name in my recap.  3 run homer, Angels lead it. Possibly this will light a fire under the collective ass of the Sox. Or in their socks. One. (There’s a Dr. Seuss book in here somewhere, we’re sure of it!)

10:22 Another double down the line: Juan Rivera.

10:23 TBS FAIL. Channel 102 “Toon Eas” not authorized. Apparently. WTF?

10:24 Apparently these difficulties are with our cable provider.  To fix this, they’re playing “Rock Steady”-era No Doubt. GREAT.

10:26 Liveblogging from Gametracker doesn’t do it for me….Morales lines out to end the inning.

9:55 Ooooh, blowing Morales MORE!  Seriously, and we never thought we’d say this, where’s Joe Buck when you need him?  He’s the expert…

9:56 Once again, it didn’t cause him to NOT ground out.

9:57 Q. “Who is this Marc Fein?”

A. “A Jew. A Jew who talks about baseball.  For money.”

9:58 Great play, terrible call–Youk clearly had him, and we’re not being homers.  The replays don’t lie.  Instead, a Gonzalez error.

10:00 Our bananas foster refuse to foster themselves into flame.  Fail.

10:01 Mathis is done, and so are we.  Banana time!

Probably.

9:47 Oh, is there a baseball game occuring?  V-Mart grounds out.

9:49 Youkilis Ks. He is unhappy.  The strikezone in this game is inonsistent at best….He’s the Greek God of Walks.  He knows from strike zone, Joe West!

9:51 Ortiz struck out. On a real strike.

Has anyone else noticed these Verizon commercials feature a snappily orchestrated version of the “Inspector Gadget” themesong?

9:02 Youk flies out.  This game is slow even without any baserunners.

9:05 Ortiz hits one right into the shift.  Nick Adenhart is dead, and its really sad, and we wish TBS wouldn’t milk it quite so hard.  The image on the outfield wall is nice, though.

9:06 “Transcend” is apparently now a verb.  (Oh and J-Baygounded to third.  Transcendentally.)

We know this because we follow him on Twitter.  Twitter’s great for us, and for funny people like Simmons, because it helps us pick up post ideas and follow breaking news–which today has clearly been key–and sound off accordingly.

But we’re still not sure it’s so good for athletes.  First off, some athlete twitters are fake: Kevin Youkilis recently pointed out that no social media that says its him actually is, and the account we all thought was his is now suspended.  Big Baby Davis’ account seemed to admit to being a fake and go dark that day we wrote that post about him…

…but some accounts are verified: that is, they definitely belong the athletes they claim to belong to.  And some of those are revealing some interesting perspectives on this whole Favre thing.  Everything here is directly quoted from UPH’s twitter feed:

Shawn Merriman: i think by him coming back this late puts pressure on the team. No i mean seriously if U were the starting QB & ur 3 weeks away from the start of  the season & “BRETT FARVE”say im coming back wut wud U do.

We see his point–team chemistry is really important, especially for a team that often sort of hovers on being good year after year like the Vikings.

Chad OchoCinco: Why don’t they fine Brett for retiring and coming back and stop worrying about me having fun on Sundays

Wow, bitter much?  Even if he’s joking, this kind of immediate reaction is pretty interesting.  Chad got fined for wearing an OchoCinco nameplate on his jersey to the tune of 5k.  He hasn’t always had a great relationship with the NFL powers that be, but it seems like he’s making the same point as Merriman is, here: Favre’s indecisiveness costs the the teams and the sport.

That he’s saying that to the world may not be the best choice….but it sure makes our job easier.

Alex Gonzalez to the Red Sox

The struggling Sox’ current best defensive lineup would feature Casey Kotchman (recently acquired from Atlanta after spending years with the Angels) at first, Kevin Youkilis at third.  But the Sox can’t hit lately, and as a result they need the resurgent Mike Lowell in their lineup daily as long as his body holds up.  THAT, in turn, means they need some compensatory defense at short, since Lowell–a gold glove third baseman–doesn’t have the range he once did, especially this year given his injury.  Gonzalez isn’t a heavy bat, but his range to his right is phenomenal, so acquiring him means you can slot Lowell back in at third and let Youk and Victor Martinez have the days off they want or need at first without sacrificing power entirely.  This is big.

Alex Rios to the White Sox

This one was the shocker: a longtime Blue Jay put on waivers–salary dump, clearly.  Four teams professed interest or put in claims, the White Sox won the war.  Rios can play all three outfield positions, giving the White Sox a way to rest the aging Jermaine Dye and Scott Podsednik.  He hits lefties and righties about equally well, too, so you can put him in the lineup every day.  And so far, his RBI numbers have made a difference.  To us, this could push the White Sox over the top.

Greg Zaun and Russ Springer to Tampa Bay Rays

Zaun has spent time with many clubs, mostly Baltimore.  He gives the Rays the kind of veteran bench presence they need if they’re going to pull it together and contend again in their “young guys reaching the playoffs for the first time” mode, as last year.  Springer, a bullpen pitcher claimed off waivers from the As, has bounced around like crazy, but is arguably a serviceable bullpen arm against a righty-heavy lineup (lefties bat .352 off him this year, which means he’ll be useless against the Yankees, but useful against the Sox, both of whom the Rays have to deal with if they want to make the playoffs.)  His ERA on the year is actually slightly lower than his career ERA, and in the last 30 days, his ERA’s under 3. 00.  Good acquisitions both, though under the radar.

Carl Pavano to the Minnesota Twins

…Actually, we’re kidding.  We think Pavano’s done.

Daniel Cabrera to the Diamondbacks

Cabrera is an enigma…he was supposed to be so good, but has struggled with command despite at times having overpowering stuff.  He’s still a couple years shy of thirty and can hit the high nineties on the gun, but Baltimore kept using him as a starter and finding they couldn’t depend on him.  In last year’s down market, he went unsigned in the off season.  The Diamondbacks can use his speed, assuming he can be consistent.  He’s not currently on the roster, so we don’t know how much of a difference he’ll make, but he’s worth noting.

These won’t be the last of them, as we’re still waiting for a lot of people–Ryan Freel et al–to clear waivers or be claimes, but in the meantime who else do you think made a difference? Sound off in the comments….

“Imagine you manage a coven of baseball-playing vampires. The Cullen family is really strong this year and you want to bring in a ringer. Which currently active MLB baseball player do you sire?”

User-submitted answers, hilarious, incredulous, and otherwise, after the jump.  Needless to say, this called A LOT of LJDrama.

“This is clearly the ploy of some sh**fun Angels fan to celebrate Vlad’s return from the DL.” ~SpicChic

“This is by far the most asinine question that I’ve ever heard posed. I am answering solely based on the fact that I could almost HEAR a few IQ points being torn away screaming from my skull.

A-Rod.” ~squishingmelons

“Umm…the green one?” ~bimbo_zombie

“I’d start a BASEketball team. Suck it.”~Busty Sinclair

and, totally UPH’s fave…

“okay I pick Kevin Youkilis, my boyfriend.
he has the word KIL(L) (the second L is assumed) in his NAME.”~Rachel Lee Pirate Jones