Kobe isn’t a surprise–he hasn’t played in the last three games with an ankle injury. Iverson is, at least to us, though. He’s missed five games because of an illness in the family. One of his young children is sick, and while the family hasn’t released a statement, it must be something serious. The NBA comissioner is in charge of selecting injury and personal leave based replacements, and he’s selected Jason Kidd, who will make his tenth All-Star appearance, to replace Kobe in the starting lineup. New York’s David Lee will start for Iverson.

So, that leaves Bryant, Iverson, Chris Paul, Brandon Roy, and likely Monta Ellis out of the game? Yep, not watching…

His season-ending injury last year was supposed to be career-ending as well, but there’s some good news for Rockets fans…he might be able to play…sometime.  According to Rockets GM Daryl Morley, Yao is progressing well and might even be able to play this season.

‘Scuse us for being skeptical, but we find it hard to believe an injury believed to be at the very least career-threatening will keep him out for less than a full season, especially since injuries that haven’t been characterized as such have kept him out for a season before.

If you’re looking for the Rockets to last in the playoffs, we don’t think its your year (again.)  As for Yao, as much as we’d like to see him on the floor of the Toyota Center, our jury is firmly still out.

Stay tuned for more: ESPN doesn’t even have this yet as far as we can find!

He was supposed to be slotted in at the 3 spot this year, but all of a sudden, he’s in rehab for depression and unspecified substance issues.  The NBA has a program whereby people with a substance program can come forward and get smaller punishment while getting treatment…but Beasley was likely already in that program, and this latest rehab stint, at a undisclosed facillity in Houston, came as a surprise to his coach.  Beasley posted depressed-sounding stuff on his Twitter…and the next thing you know, he’s in rehab, in just the second season of what could be a promising career.

Beasley’s immature behavior was noted by teammates and press alike, but he made a good point in reply: he’s only 20 years old.

Young men like Beasley, who spend only a year in college, are unprepared for life as professional athletes, let alone life after their playing careers are over.  Many of them are talented enough not to need a backup plan, at least barring unforseen injuries, and many, like Beasley, have focused on nothing but basketball.  But Beasley, like many others, was thrown into a situation with almost unlimited money and priviledges: free drinks, great parties, and probably access to drugs as well.

Baseball doesn’t draft people out of college until junior year, and there’s a reason for that: baseball players, to make it through the slog that is the minor leagues, need their heads on straight and need some common sense and lifeskills.  A single-year college career mostly taken up by a NCAA March Madness run doesn’t fit the bill.  It’s time for the NBA to make sure there aren’t any more Beasleys, talents who become overwhelmed by their sudden celebrity.  Educate these kids, at least for awhile.  Let them have more experience living on their own, more experience doing their own laundry.  (Yes, we know athletes at places like KState probably don’t, but the point stands–college is a life experience.)

We hope Beasley makes it through…and we hope the NBA steps up, delays gratification for itself and some of its young players, and encourages them to go to school.  A culture shift like this may seem drastic, but its what the NBA needs: smart, young players who are dedicated to the game and who won’t get lost in the glitter.

We’re fascinated by the immediacy that the 24 hour news cycle and the advent of the internet have brought to the world of sports reporting.   (Except when our twitter feed refreshes faster than our MLB GameDay and we find out that in fact someone just grounded out with the bases loaded on the second damn pitch they saw, oh my God, Lance Berkman, how the hell are we supposed t–)

Ahem. Sorry. That’s a different rant.

Today, however, is the beginning of a new era–an era of repression! Of tyrrany!  Of…The New York Times pointing out that some leagues don’t like bloggers much, with our opinions, and our darn free speech.

Actually, while the article’s lede is about bloggers of a more traditional nature, the more important parts are about video rights: gone are the two minute highlight packages you’d see on local news after the game, thanks in huge part to ESPN, the behemoth that will likely change the face of broadcast sports soon even more than it already has.  (Think about it….remember when the MLB playoffs were on an actual channel anyone could watch?  Now there’s only one October…and it’s on TBS, which isn’t even in DirectTV’s basic cable package, by the way.)

ESPN can afford to pay to broadcast sports.  We can–and do–pay to watch them, more than ever before.  Bloggers who shoot video or, as technology increases, stream games, are infringing on these rights, say the conferences, leagues,  and TV execs.  But movie pirating’s a big business–how much more of a big business could livefeeding a sporting event become?

And if enough of that begins to happen, the model will be forced to change.  Even just one good site streaming live video could do it, if they could make a good argument for being allowed to broadcast their own video and commentary  (the commentary might make it a first ammendment issue, we think, though we didn’t go to law school.)

Well, we’ll see.

Son of fashion goddess Diane, Alexander is apparently convinced that Reggie Miller’s got the hots for his bride-to-be, Ali Kay.  Kay, meanwhile, sent some photos that the New York Post calls “provocative” to Miller during a several-month flirtation, including a picture of her in bed.

Some sources–though not the Post, they’re too old fashioned–say the pair had a sexting relationship for months, which led to Von Furstenberg filling out a restraining order against Miller.  (Surprised he got the judge to sign that one…any legal eagles out there who could weigh in?)

Von Furstenberg, who began dating Kay before the end of his previous marriage, has apparently spoken to Miller on the phone and they’ve agreed to work it out.  Could bromance be in the offing? UPH thinks so…

A sports charity story we came across recently is one of a different stripe–not sports-related, like Schilling’s ALS charity, but one that addresses a serious need in a very needy part of the world: Dikembe Mutombo’s hospital located in Kinshasa, the capital of the Democratic Republic of Congo.  Clinton (she, not he) paid a visit to the former Knick, Net, 76er and Rocket, and the amazing work he’s doing and funding.

In Mutombo’s country, hundreds of thousands of civillians are unsafe.  In 2009 thusfar, 600 civilians have been killed and more than half a million have been forced out of their homes.  Mutombo’s hospital is helping those people and his celebrity is bringing attention to the region’s plight.  There’s a use of celebrity we really admire.

There have been rumors to this effect for ages, mostly fueled by the fact that LeBron James and CC Sabathia,Yankees hurler, are close friends dating back to CC’s days in Cleveland.  Since Sabathia signed in the off-season with New York, there has been a lot of speculation that his tight friendship with Sabathia, who he’s been quoted as saying helped him remain grounded during all the craziness of his first couple of years in the NBA after becoming the bestest-ever draftpick ever ever EVAR (He got a 90 million dollar shoe contract.  Before he played a minute of pro ball.)

Earlier this week, James said he’s unlikely to accept a contract extension from the Cavs beyond this coming season.  Now, this could mean he’s holding out for more money, and wants to test the free agent market, but UPH finds that hard to believe.

Call us naive, but we think that this kid has more money than he could ever use.  In fact, he has, since before his career even began.  We can’t imagine a 24 year old kid whose life seems to be engaged in doing exactly what he enjoys, and doing it fantastically well, really cares about the exact number of millions.  Even with the economy as it is, he’s never functionally going to be able to tell the difference, moneywise.

And we don’t have any evidence–crazy clubbing habit, drug arrests, extreme bling–that he’s burning through those millions.   So we think LeBron’s leaving because he wants to. He’s 24 and he wants to live in the big city, hang out with his friends, and win.

He wants, in fact, “to be a part of it.”

New York, New York.

This evening, members of the Tribe….no, not that Tribe…will go to synagogues all over America.  The luckiest of them will even perhaps run into UPH.

The rest of them, however, can still be glowing with excitement, because it’s official: The biggest matzah ball in the universe, ever, has landed.  It contains 1,000 eggs, 200 pounds of matzoh meal, 20 pounds of something semi-worrisomely referred to as “chicken base,” and 80 punds of margarine.

Margarine?  Our bubbe is turning in her grave.  In any case, the 267 pound sphere of carbohydrate goodness is celebrating an exhibition game scheduled for October between the New York Knicks and an Israeli national team, the proceeds of which will benefit Migdal Or, a huge orphanage/educational center for underprivileged kids, recent immigrants to Israel, and others.

You can find out more about the program and buy tickets here for either the Knicks game versus Maccabi Electra Tel Aviv on October 18th or the Israeli team’s tilt versus the LA Clippers on October 20th.  UPH wishes we could be there.

In the meantime, we’ve got some cooking to do.