So the furor over the events of yesterday, in which Venus Williams forgot to wear panties (and, incidentally, played tennis too) is a little funny to us.  OK, sure, her skirt had a front slit…and we couldn’t really see anything under it.  Including, actually, her butt.

Deadspin’s undercover (rimshot!) analysis is that she was wearing some kind of bodysuit or unitard-y type thing.  You can really always count on the Deadspin guys to do some in depth reporting.  And they do have the grace to make fun of themselves a bit. It’s the fact that the rest of the internet was blowing up that causes the big questionmark above our heads.

We know sports chicks are sex symbols, especially in tennis–hey Anna, whats up?–and the Williams sisters have pushed the envelope before, what with Serena’s fashion designs and all, but we have to say, what’s the percentage here?  If she’s most comfortable without panties….fine.  The bodysuit itself doesn’t actually have anything to do with anything…if she’d shocked America by lacking underwear, nobody should have cared.

Hell, if she’d been a man, nobody would even have noticed…

Fill in the blank, kiddies;

A) taking a brief nap on the court–multitasking is key!

B) channeling her inner kangaroo.  It is the Australian Open, after all. Three second later, she jumped.

C) Debating the dangly earrings choice.  On a tennis court? Really?

D) Just really really pissed off–she did lose, after all….

credit: (WILLIAM WEST/AFP/Getty Images)

Two. Thousand. Three.

The thing is, Del Potro isn’t the Future of Tennis, or at least he wasn’t until this week.  He’s unranked, which to us points out some serious flaws in the ranking system.  He’s not Tsonga, who has been around for forever on the edge of being the Next Big Thing, and he’s not anyone like Nadal, who is the Next Big Thing except when he shows moments of being the Big Thing Now, as at Wimbeldon two years ago, when he beat Federer.

This is a nobody from nowhere.

Or it was. Until last night.

Highlights include:

–a twenty four bottle minibar.  Personally, we’re thinking that anything past single-digit bottle count is rather…maxi.

–bedroom featuring leopard-print rug and mirrored bedposts. Cue whatever music you find most appropriate for such a situation….UPH is going oldschool with our choice.

–Federer, however, claims to prefer the second bedroom, which the article says has “better feng shui.” And, apparently, chocolate.  Guess Myla and Charlene can take the leopardprint? Never too early for interesting design choices, after all…

Oh, and if you want to lay your head where Federer does? That’ll cost you a cool $3,075 a night.   For those of us stuck in the real world, here’s pictures…